A rare positive post from me today!
I had a great bank holiday weekend and managed to do absolutely nothing school/work related which has provided a much needed break. Most of it has been spent with the guy. Feel free to skip over the following blurb which is basically a recap of the weekend!
Friday, he picked me up in the morning and we drove into the mountains and had some pub grub (scary eat #1). Next we went for a quick stroll around the castle walls in another town, before driving out to the coast and a game of crazy golf which I lost miserably! Got back to his and had a few beers while he cooked a lovely curry with rice & chips (scary eat #2) for us followed by more beers and lots of chocolate. He was going to drive me back home but the lure of more beer was too much so I ended up staying over at his.
He cooked fried bacon & egg on toast with butter (VERY scary eat #3!) for breakfast before heading out for another drive towards my house. We went for coffee and then ended up at a stately home going for a tour(!) Very odd, but I really enjoyed it being a History geek at heart and it was good to do something different for a change. We had coffee & cake there (scary eat #4) before driving further afield in search of ice cream. We ended up at a big farm in the middle of nowhere (or so it seemed to me!) and had a giant chocolate waffle cone of butterscotch ice cream which was yuuuuuuuum (not as scary eat #5). Finally headed back to mine about 6pm and grabbed some food for dinner (not my choice and therefore scary eat #6). He left just after 9pm and I went straight to bed because although we’d spent a lot of the weekend driving I was shattered!
We had no plans to meet again immediately, until he text on Sunday morning asking if I wanted to drive over to his? Well, I was torn. I was speaking to my friend and saying ‘is it not a bit weird to have seen him 5 times in 7 days? Should I make an excuse?’ – she talked some sense into me and told me to basically stop being silly and although yes, it might be quite odd, what’s the alternative? Spend Easter Sunday sat in doing planning and assessments? Erm – no comparison! I headed over to his on Sunday where he cooked for me again(!) and we stocked up on beers and got a wee bit drunk. As he lives in the centre of his town, we headed out for some more drinks (even though I was horribly under-dressed in jeans & a t-shirt while all the girls were tarted up like you would not believe!). Had a few more drinks and a bit of a dance, then headed back to his. Woke stupidly early on Monday with a slight hangover but not too bad, nothing another fried bacon & egg buttie didn’t solve! I haven’t eaten bacon properly for years (only very occasionally), it became an irrational fear food and while my family would have grilled bacon sandwiches (fat removed, may I add) I would always decline…now here I am with proper fried stuff, with fat, dripping in butter :o. Scary.
Monday was a lazy day. We had a DVD marathon and basically stayed on the couch and ate all day. He cooked lunch and dinner (which included a lot more scary stuff, like lots of mayonnaise which I used to love and then became scared of for no reason). Yesterday I realised that mayo isn’t scary, it’s actually quite tasty. We polished off a large bar of malteaser chocolate (which if you haven’t tried yet, do! It’s like malteasers but with more choc) and I drove back to mine about 9ish.
Overall a weird but good weekend. I do like him, but I’m still incredibly nervous and self concious which just kind of wrecks it for me and surely will for him too. I’m my own worst enemy and biggest critic so getting comfortable with him is hard despite his reassurances. He text when I got back saying he really enjoyed spending the weekend with me etc etc and we’ve made plans to meet up on Sunday before work takes over my life and I become a hermit again. Today, I really should be catching up on a lot of work which I haven’t done these past few days but I really can’t be bothered. My motivation is zero and my mind is wandering elsewhere!
So that’s the update of my weekend. I’m glad I faced some fears, and the disordered side of me was hidden from him. It felt nice to be normal and be able to match him with the food and not have to make excuses/alterations to please the eating disorder “Can I have mine without xxx please, I don’t like it” became “Yeah go for it, whatever”. Although I’ve been a healthy weight for coming up to a year now, I’ve still managed to not let go completely (through avoiding butter & mayo for example) but now I can scratch those off the list. Result. It’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time and thought I’d blog about it before I disappear under a mountain of work for the next 7 weeks of term 😦