Not really much to report this week, hence the lack of posts. A few good days, a few not so good, story of my life!
For me, the week was building up to the ‘big meal’ we went out for last night. This pretty much played on my mind all week, but as usual I shouldn’t have worried because it was gorgeous. We have been going to the same restaurant for the last few years for my parents anniversary, it has become a bit of a tradition (don’t ask why we all go out for their anniversary, for some reason we just do!) The place is so pretty, and it’s a really “special” kind of restaurant (could also read “over priced” in place of special). I know that every year I enjoy the meal there, although I always feel too full because the food is incredibly rich and laden with oil/butter/cream etc etc so that was my main anxiety. In the end, I did feel very very full, but it tasted so good I didn’t care. Had Wood Pigeon with figs to start (yes, pigeon!!!!), main course was Trout in a mustard creamy(!) sauce with braised cabbage and spinach and roast potatoes and the most delicious apple & blackberry crumble for dessert with cinder toffee ice cream which was so so good. So yeah, it was a lovely meal, and I’d bought a huge flower arrangement & delivered it to the restaurant before hand so it was there as a surprise when my parents arrived and they were really happy with it.
Today = food hangover. I woke with a banging head ache and a very full tummy. The price you pay for a lovely meal. We had lunch out today while shopping and Mum is cooking a huge dinner tonight so I really hope I have some room in there.
My re-arranged dietitian appointment is later this week, so still waiting to see how that goes. With regards to everything else – thoughts are still the same, guilty feelings still the same, overeating in the evening still the same, not eating enough in the day still the same – most things still the same.
I did hear back from one of my million job applications earlier in the week and have an interview in a place I’ve never ever heard of (don’t actually remember applying for it but meh) so I’ll be travelling to that the week after next. Not had proper details through yet, just that I’ll be teaching a 25 minute lesson – not sure what on though so planning that will be occupying my thoughts obsessively for the next week. I’m assuming it’s a January start for the job so would mean finding somewhere to live in a place I’ve never heard of – bit scary – but also not something to start considering yet since I haven’t actually had the interview and I suck at them anyway so it’s highly unlikely I’ll be getting the job.
This is a pretty pointless post really, but thought I should add an update of sorts. OH! I should add, that I held back from finding the restaurant menu for last nights meal before hand. Now to anybody else, this is ridiculously insignificant. But for me, it’s a real obsession, I always try to see the menu to check there’s something ‘safe’, and every time we have been there in the past I’ve asked them to email me a copy (pathetic, I know) but not this time. I told myself there was bound to me something I’d like, or consider safe, and if not – tough shit. Eat it anyway. Luckily for me I could have chosen tons on there!
Oh and one more thing which was positive, I ordered a HUGE piece of Carrot Cake with Ice Cream when we ate out last Sunday, nobody else had dessert, but it’s been playing on my mind for a while that I tend to shy away from Carrot Cake when it’s one of my favourites so I ordered one to conquer the ‘fear’. I did, and it was ace. Although it’s not all fun and games, I have definitely been compensating for it this week with my eating, cutting corners wherever I can to make up for it (I ashamedly even put a spoonful of my Risotto on my brothers plate before he saw on Friday because I was convinced I had been given more than him) ARGH. It’s no use trying hard in one way and taking away in the other, this is something which needs to be sorted.
Now for the best bit. Cake.